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If you can only think of alcohol and coffee for a good time, you're very disappointed. I find it's helpful to focus on the fact that it's the job that demands so much of him, rather than him simply opting out of time spent with us. He came to bed at 1: I don't know if I can make this work. He hasn't proposed and instead of saving for a ring he is going to use the money to travel to go to his friend's wedding. About the time I was ready to return for my doctorate a chronic illness hit. We have been together for over ten years, but only married for 6 months. He also brought up issues with the church when we discussed religion so slowly he brought to light some disturbing facts and even though I would have denied it, it got to me. We are a welcoming community. As my husband learns about Mormonism I get to see it through his fresh eyes. And to be fair, he always does contact me to see each other eventually So while some of his behavior makes me question stuff, other times I feel like this is just a phase due to his residency and maybe this is worth hanging on for down the road.
So basically we were lies to for years. I love talking religion with him and I have never pressured him to change his habits or anything else about him. Ask questions, try to find out as much as you can. Earlier I mentioned "Even if the church believes a bunch of crazy nonsense, and she believes it too, I still really like her and would like to see whether we can have some good intellectual conversations about this stuff. Men search the world for women that they can stand to be around with long-term.