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And I don't mean my good friend Satan. There is no way this will work out. But now he is a senior doc and is called on for all the difficult stuff and can't or won't say no. I don't think you necessarily need to cut ties with her. She will insist on raising her children in the Mormon church. I knew a couple in my last ward who got married in their mid 20's. He still writes to me telling me that until his last breath he will love me. He is just very dedicated to his patients. What can you expect. She will insist on raising her children in the Mormon church.
I feel like now more than ever, I am expected to just not have an opinion about anything or even a say in how we spend our time together. I was scared to bring it up and make it seem like a demand or ultimatum, so I think I will approach him in the way you described. You can't force her to change, nor should you if you could. Hopefully they have some say in it, but I'm speaking about other churchgoers' expectations here, and probably your wife's. You have been blessed with the equipment to make such decisions.